Warning. This post contains language some people may find offensive. And this is the edited version...

Threenager. This is a word I was introduced to a few weeks ago and it has since been infesting my life like a bad case of family lice. Make sure you read that right. I still miss it even though it has become a huge pet peeve of mine. Threenager, read as (3)nager. I get it from Facebook groups, my sister-in-law, and my wife (because she knows it annoys me)

Definition; A person 3 years old, possessing the attitude, and demeanor of a teenager

Are you kidding me. This is a thing? 

Your three year old has attitude? No your three year old is being a three year old. Trying to learn their place in the world by pushing your buttons.

Is your three year old moping around the house with his headphones in listening to shitty teen angst music pissing and moaning about some irrelevant bullshit that doesn't matter to anyone but themselves but still they are going to post their stupid ignorant thoughts on social media anyways and then piss and moan about that because none of their shitty teen friends favorited or retweeted it. 

No, your three year old is sitting in their own filth (well I guess that is similar to teenagers) watching Caillou (which is probably your first problem). That whiny little shit is a real asshole, pissing and moaning until he gets what he wants. Just hearing that little shit's shrill, eardrum piercing voice causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. But my hatred for that little animated cancer having brat should be saved for another rant.

Drawing similarities between a three year old and a teenager is ridiculous. They're acting like an asshole. That's the only similarity. So call it what it is.

It's all these shitty mom's groups that come up with all these ridiculous words to make themselves feel better that they aren't calling their kids assholes or being shitty parents.

Kids are going to give you some attitude. They have to. They have to learn their place in the hierarchy of the family, society and life. If you let them get away with shit it's just going to cause you more problems as they develop into fivenagers, then come the shithead sevens, transitioning into the troublesome tens, then before you know it you're raising a convict.

All that because you felt bad about calling your kid an asshole. Do it, it feels good.

You can say it. I say it. I know a few other parent who say it too. Those are the parents I listen to when I need advise. They are the ones that have the well behaved kids. They are the people that will laugh at this post, just as we laugh at those shitty mom's groups and their made up words. 

*mic drop*